I’ve been writing about social networking for a while but someone asked me today about my top tips for networking with people, so I thought I’d share a few of the tips that I regularly use. I really enjoy meeting new people wherever I travel, I never know who I’m going to meet and I’ve been wowed by some fantastic and inspirational speakers at events, I’ve made the effort to make contact with them and now they’re my friends.
“Networking is about building a portfolio of relationships that will help you to continue to develop your career” – Harvard Business School
So if you want to get on with your career, follow the advice of my good friend Maggie Berry who runs Women in Technology in London who offers this advice: “People who get on, don’t wait to be discovered, People who get on, know what’s going on.
I network in lots of different ways – face to face, on the phone, via email, text, online, by using social media. Social media lets me keep in touch with so many more people than just email or phone would. I get a huge buzz from connecting people who can help each other out, it gives me a great satisfaction to actually make that connection. So it’s not all about my work. You need to be strategic in your networking goals and meeting more people through networking will help you to learn more from those around you, pick up information that you didn’t know about before, realise what you’re missing out on career wise and broaden your perspectives and job opportunities. It gives you an opportunity to move on and get on in your professional life, to find a mentor or the opportunity to be a mentor.
You can meet people in similar situations who you can connect with and make more people aware of you and your capabilities. People across the board like senior colleagues, competitors, local business people, politicians perhaps? It’s possible. You want to meet people who can help you – but where are they? You need to have a think about who can help you. People like your colleagues and IT peers, your friends and family friends, professional associations and networks, your vendors and consultants.
So here are my tips:
1) Look the part – dressing appropriately will make you feel more comfortable and confident. I don’t mean dress up to the nines in a sharp suit – just be in keeping with the event
2) Be aware of your body language – a smile works wonders and it invites people to talk to you – smile, approach someone, shake hands and say something!
3) Have some standard ‘opener’ questions – I use the “I love your shoes / bag / jacket, where did you get it from?” line, but if I’m talking to a man I’ll usually ask for advice “Where’s the bar / bag drop / registration area” etc. another line that usually works is “ How did you hear about the event?” or Who else do you know here?
4) Be interesting, curious and listen, listen listen! People like talking about themselves, so encourage them. it saves you from talking. Ask them questions to keep the flow going. Be yourself, not your job. Remember, it’s your job, not your life
5) Do your homework before you go to the event or gathering. It’s a good idea if you find out who’s expected to be there and identify in advance who you want to meet. If you plan ahead you’ll find the first few moments easier.
6) It’s also a good idea to work out your icebreaker sentence – it makes it easier during the event and you can use the same line over and over again with different people
7) Know what you want to accomplish from your encounter. Do you want their business card, a referral or permission to contact them afterwards? Have your business cards ready – don’t fumble around in your pockets for the damn things!
8) And follow up the next day. How many business cards do you have that you have NO idea where they are from, or who gave them to you? Send an email that the other person can save to their contacts, saying how much you enjoyed meeting them at the xxx event and how you’re looking forward to meeting them at similar events.
If the person has no relevance to your business or Networking objectives, then don’t feel bad about chucking the card away – and make room in your contacts for the more useful connections…
Now with Social Networking – that’s another story – more next time…
Eileen's Digital Technology 
My top 3 tips for Networking…
My #1 tip for Networking is “Think ‘give’ not ‘get'”. One of the biggest rookie mistakes that corporates make when they start to dabble in social networking is to leap in and start promoting themselves explicitly. The approach backfires and rather than building brand and opportunities, they become alienated. The same is true for individuals. The best way to crash and burn in networking is to lead with what’s in it for you. There is one UK social networking site/group for whom this is a major problem. I, and many others, avoid the network because most of their participants are a bunch of anxious business hounds who accost you and say ‘this is what I do, have you got any work/money for me??’ The whole dynamic of social networking, that people and corporates have difficulty getting their head around is that ‘giving’ leads to useful returns. It becomes quite indirect so it makes the corporate spreadsheet jockeys go nuts trying to correlate their actions with results. But that is the only way to network in the digital age. From the quality of your giving builds your reputation for authority, quality of work and capabilities that subsequently people will come back to if they have a need that can be met by you.
My #2 tip is “Talk benefits.” Compliments to Mike Pegg (http://www.strengthsacademy.com). If the conversation leads to ‘what do you do?’, do not respond with what you do in an activity sense. Respond with what you do *for others*. All benefits come in two flavours – cost savings or more ‘income’ (doesn’t have to be money, could be satisfaction or some other ‘return’). As a result, all answers to these questions should begin with the words ‘I save people money by…’ or ‘I make people money by…’ If the conversation must drift into your business, then focusing on the ‘benefits’ keeps in the spirit of the ‘giving’ (see rule #1).
My #3 tip is my favourite icebreaker (see Eileen’s rule #3)…”Ask ‘What do you *like* to do?'” Compliments to my Dad. The two extra words of ‘like to’ make it a stark contrast to the classic and I would say hackneyed ice breaker question ‘What do you do?’ The ‘like to do’ question focuses and opens up the conversation to the person’s passions which brings fresh energy to the conversation. If you really want to make a connection with someone, if you really want to have a positive interaction, if you really want to go into an area where they will be motivated, then getting into their areas of preoccupation rather than just occupation is the way to go. At first, the conversations may seem to drift into hobbies and pastimes, but these passions have a way of opening up serendipity where you find a common ground. And if you can help someone or enhance their pursuit of their ‘passion’, then you have made a connection for life.
Bruce,
Brilliant comments – thanks for taking the time to do this – I think i’ll need to write a few more tips – or perhaps a book 😉
I don’t know If I said it already but …Cool site, love the info. I do a lot of research online on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks, 🙂
A definite great read….