Johari window – perceptions of you

I had an amazing day yesterday at the Connecting women in Technology Event at Dell (I’ll write up the proper report soon when I get some access to the official photos from the day).  I delivered a session on the Johari window and helping you to communicate – more effectively and in teams.

One of the key things about Johari is that often, the way you perceive yourself is not the way that others perceive you.  You need to create your own window by selecting 5 or 6 descriptive words about how you perceive yourself – then send it to friends and colleagues.  Here’s an example:

The pink area represents what people know about you when they first meet you.  as they get to know you and find out about you, your open area increases.  Your blind spot represents things that people know about you – but you are unaware of.  Asking for feedback will reveal things in the blind spot.  Talking about your hidden areas brings them out into the open.  Here’s an example of a completed Johari (not mine)

   The top left area represents things you know about yourself – and others know about you.  So this person (a woman I admire) has a couple of qualities that she thinks about herself but others don’t.  By disclosing these qualities to her friends and colleagues, her calmness and energy move into her arena  (open area) area.

It’s a great tool to use as an individual, and also to use in Group sessions so that you can improve communications – and if you’re really brave – have a look at your weaknesses using the Nohari version of the Window – and find out what people think that you could do better

A great tool for discovering a little bit more about yourself and what your friends think of you

Technorati Tags: Johari

How to Network – 8 Top Tips

I’ve been writing about social networking for a while but someone asked me today about my top tips for networking with people, so I thought I’d share a few of the tips that I regularly use.  I really enjoy meeting new people wherever I travel, I never know who I’m going to meet and I’ve been wowed by some fantastic and inspirational speakers at events, I’ve made the effort to make contact with them and now they’re my friends.

“Networking is about building a portfolio of relationships that will help you to continue to develop your career” – Harvard Business School

So if you want to get on with your career, follow the advice of my good friend Maggie Berry who runs Women in Technology in London who offers this advice: “People who get on, don’t wait to be discovered,  People who get on, know what’s going on. 

I network in lots of different ways – face to face, on the phone, via email, text,  online, by using social media.  Social media lets me keep in touch with so many more people than just email or phone would.  I get a huge buzz from connecting people who can help each other out, it gives me a great satisfaction to actually make that connection.  So it’s not all about my work.  You need to be strategic in your networking goals and meeting more people through networking will help you to learn more from those around you, pick up information that you didn’t know about before, realise what you’re missing out on career wise and broaden your perspectives and job opportunities.  It gives you an opportunity to move on and get on in your professional life, to find a mentor or the opportunity to be a mentor. 

You can meet people in similar situations who you can connect with and make more people aware of you and your capabilities.  People across the board like senior colleagues, competitors, local business people, politicians perhaps?  It’s possible.  You want to meet people who can help you – but where are they?  You need to have a think about who can help you.  People like your colleagues and IT peers, your friends and family friends, professional associations and networks, your vendors and consultants.

So here are my tips:

1) Look the part – dressing appropriately will make you feel more comfortable and confident.  I don’t mean dress up to the nines in a sharp suit – just be in keeping with the event

2) Be aware of your body language – a smile works wonders and it invites people to talk to you – smile, approach someone, shake hands and say something!

3) Have some standard ‘opener’ questions – I use the “I love your shoes / bag / jacket, where did you get it from?” line, but if I’m talking to a man I’ll usually ask for advice “Where’s the bar / bag drop / registration area” etc.  another line that usually works is “ How did you hear about the event?” or  Who else do you know here?

4) Be interesting, curious and listen, listen listen! People like talking about themselves, so encourage them.  it saves you from talking.  Ask them questions to keep the flow going.  Be yourself, not your job.  Remember, it’s your job, not your life

5) Do your homework before you go to the event or gathering.  It’s a good idea if you find out who’s expected to be there and identify in advance who you want to meet.  If you plan ahead you’ll find the first few moments easier. 

6) It’s also a good idea to work out your icebreaker sentence – it makes it easier during the event and you can use the same line over and over again with different people

7) Know what you want to accomplish from your encounter.  Do you want their business card, a referral or permission to contact them afterwards?  Have your business cards ready – don’t fumble around in your pockets for the damn things!

And follow up the next day.  How many business cards do you have that you have NO idea where they are from, or who gave them to you?  Send an email that the other person can save to their contacts, saying how much you enjoyed meeting them at the xxx event and how you’re looking forward to meeting them at similar events.

If the person has no relevance to your business or Networking objectives, then don’t feel bad about chucking the card away – and make room in your contacts for the more useful connections…

Now with Social Networking – that’s another story – more next time…

 

Technorati Tags: Networking,Meeting people

Do something every day that scares you

I’m not a runner.  Some would say I’m built for comfort, not for speed.  But on Sunday I did something I’ve never done before.  and I was totally terrified about it.  I actually ran the London 10k run.  And I finished it too.  I made a promise to the Connecting Women in Technology project team that I’d run with them in aid of the Sands charity.  One of the ladies on the team had lost her daughter at 11 days old, and had struggled through our last event with amazing courage.  Her daughter would have had her 4th birthday on the day of the event – yet she still held it together for the day.  What an effort that must have taken.

So running this race was the least I could have done for her.  But, as I said.  I’ve never ran more than 200m since I was at school.  Eek!  So with advice from the experienced runners from Cisco, Dell, Microsoft and Nortel,  I downloaded a running plan (6 weeks to get to 5k) and followed all of the recommendations.  Moving from 3 minutes running, 3 minutes walking, to 5 minutes running 3 minutes walking made me sick with anxiety, and 5k stretched out like an unachievable object, weeks ahead.  But I got to 5k, slowly, but I got there.  Then worked up to 4 miles then 5 miles, then got to last Sunday. I was awake from 0300hrs, terrified, sick, anxious, with no belief that I’d ever get to the finish line, no confidence at all.  But I’d made a promise – and I was going to do my damndest to get round somehow…

Me, and 27,000 other runners started off in Piccadilly (here’s most of us outside the Ritz before we started).  The atmosphere was like a carnival, and it was great fun waiting in the queue to get to the start line.  40 minutes later the 11 women in the team, set off, knowing that the elite athletes at the front had already completed the run!

The first 5k was relatively easy – I’ve done this a couple of times in my training and it was great to be running amongst all of the other people running for charity.  The 2^nd 5k was hell.  Blazing sunshine,  hot and sweaty temperatures and not enough drinks stops either.  The sound of the ambulances rescuing people behind me was strangely comforting though and I took solace that I hadn’t yet collapsed in the heat.  I ran the last 4k with Louise from Dell who slowed down, bless her, to run with me,  and this is me – not walking – just before the finish line

So I did it.  Something that I never imagined that I’d ever attempt after 14 weeks of not too hard training.  But it was SO nice to stop and meet up with the other runners in the melee (I think that Jane was more delighted than me to see that I was still alive after all!)

I had some amazing experiences – being overtaken by 2 runners also running for SANDS who wished us luck and strength to carry on.  Total strangers cheering and clapping when  I passed and getting to join in a rousing and echoing chorus of Oggy Oggy Oggy with about 1000 other people running through the cool tunnel along the Embankment before the 5k mark.  A Magic moment.  And the knowledge of course that all of the donations we received  helped us reach our target sum.  For that, all the stiffness and wobbly walking since have made it worthwhile.  

Would I do it again?  well if you’d have asked me at 0500hrs on Sunday morning when I was vomiting with fear I would have said NO!   But now, 3 days later, I’ve realised that I’ve conquered a huge limiting belief.  A belief that pigeonholed me into believing that I’m not a runner.  So now,  I’ll work on improving my time for the next one…

So this has certainly proved to me that anything is possible if you actually believe in yourself, and I’ll certainly bear tat in mind when confronted by something that scares me in the future.

So have I got the running bug now?  I’m already planning my route around the country lanes to try and improve my running speed.  So I think that I’ve actually turned my fear into a positive feeling.

Amazing…

How to keep your job – or get a better one

Some ideas from my blog feed about keeping your job in these uncertain times, the skills you may need to think about for your current role, your career (is it the one you really want?), or what you can do if you don’t currently have a position you want:

 

Make yourself high value and hard to replace.  Katie has a great picture and a pointer to some great advice from Mike Pegg

 

Think about the sort of job you really want.  Is a lifestyle career really what you want?  Think about your job skills, performance and opportunities to get yourself a more fulfilling career, choose an employer that suits your vision and goals for the future.  Think about how happy you actually want to be at work.  Some people don’t actually want to be happy at work, but don’t let their negativity halt your progress or take over the team or the workplace

If you’ve lost your job,. you’re probably feeling down.,  Well read these 10 tips to try to turn around the blues, 10 tips to try so you can get what you want (a new job perhaps?)

And if you’re a woman reading this, you may have decided to leave your job in IT.  you’re not alone here’s what they think about why women leave their jobs in the US, or quit computer science

Staying positive amongst the rumours and gossip

I was reading Mini Microsofts predictions of the rumours of doom and gloom at Microsoft in January and feeling rather down.  There are many people out there who are not as fortunate as I am though and have already experienced life changing events at work.  So I had a trawl around the blogs to find out some tips and tricks for keeping positive and staying focused in the credit crunch and how to become an asset to the company.

How personal branding can stop you from getting fired.  There’re some good tips here:

Use a blog to position yourself as an expert in your field and people will be magnetically attracted to the information that is flowing out of each post you write.  How very true.  Just look at all those bloggers out there.

Appear to be an expert – even if it is about first footing traditions – or making mulberry jam

Please the people that matter – or you’ll end up pleasing no one…

Take the time to find out who you are – and you may find out that you don’t really like the role you’re in, you may not be happy with your work or aren’t true to your values and decide to move on

And – more importantly – don’t believe every rumour that you hear – it burns cycles and stresses you out.  And it might never happen either…

Technorati Tags: Life coaching,personal branding,mulberry jam,first foot,first footing

Getting that confidence you need

When you get to know people you often find that a lot of us suffer from low self esteem or lack of confidence. We often doubt our own abilities and this is reflected in our work.    But to the person looking in from the outside – we appear to be totally different people.  So I’ve found some really useful articles dealing with this very thing.  One is about being self conscious in public, looking a fool and dealing with too much self criticism which leads to you always seeking approval due to your lack of self confidence.  Both are worth a read.

So stop seeing the kitty in the mirror and start to grow that lion instead…

Technorati Tags: self confidence,self esteem