Different stokes for different folks…

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I’ve had a bit of a blogging holiday recently – to tell the truth, I haven’t been sure what I wanted to talk about.  Should i just carry on like nothings happened?  Do I dwell and subject you to the range of emotions I’ve been feeling?  Do I tell you what I’ve been doing with my search for a new role?  or should I just keep quiet until I have something interesting to say?  I’ have been really fascinated with peoples reactions to my news over the past couple of weeks.  Some of the people I’ve known and worked with for years now behave really differently towards me.   I’ve bucketed these different types of reactions into 3 categories and wondered if you have similar experiences.

1: The Funeral Mourners.  They come up, hands on, a hug perhaps, a sorrowful look,  talking in hushed voices and oozing sympathy.  Their faces show concern worry and anxiety.

2: The Get on With Life Brigade.  Matter of fact, no nonsense people, who want to hear what happened and move on

3: The Scurriers.  Blank stares as they hurry past you in the corridor

So I wondered why these quite different reactions occur. How have I been reacting to news like this in the past?  Which behaviour do I prefer to encounter?  I suppose that these reactions its similar to peoples reactions when dealing with bad news in the family, perhaps a grieving relative or someone who is going through the 5 stages of grief

I found some interesting articles that try to explain how to deal with changes in the workplace when downsizing or restructuring occurs in a company which can all potentially produce grief-like responses as workers adjust to the change.  Additionally, The lives and the behaviour of the “survivors” and the “victims” of work changes will be transformed.

The victims of work changes must cope with social, interpersonal, and financial adjustments.  Those who remain must deal with changes in supervision and reporting lines, loss of co-workers, additional or redesigned work, and uncertainty of their role and value to the company. Both groups have encountered changes that will change  their lives, causing them to go through transitions. Workers often feel that the change "happened to them," rather than being their choice or something that was within their control. How people react depends on the individual, their previous work and personal experiences along with their history of past losses. Most worker’s reactions to the workplace event will be more about the secondarily associated losses than about the actual change itself.

There are some sage words here: Don’t be scared to talk to them about how they feel, and to say that you are sorry for them. Let them know you’re there for them if they want to sound off angrily, cry on your shoulder, or get out to do something to distract themselves for a while. Try not to avoid them unless they ask for some space, this may make them feel worse than they do already, and it’s a time when they need to know who their friends are

Well for me, if you come and chat to me, please can you be like one of the Get On With Life Brigade? I’m fine, cheerful, optimistic about all of my future options and I want to talk to as many people as possible to find my next role / job / customer / career.

And for the scurriers?  Well i want you to know that it’s ok to talk to me – I haven’t disappeared yet…